What Are You Thinking? How Your Thoughts Shape Your Life

By Kristen D’Amico

There is a remarkable power in our thinking, one that most of us overlook. Right now, as you read this, several thoughts are emerging within your mind, and only some of them are making it to your conscious awareness. The latest research on thinking has found that the average human has about 6,200 thoughts per day, and they are influencing how you feel and what you do.

Thinking, or cognition as it’s called in the scientific realm, was first identified by philosopher Aristotle more than 2,000 years ago as he set out to understand the inner workings of the mind and the influence that the mind has on human behavior. Two millenniums later, we are still intrigued by the relationship between thought and behavior, and how to use thought to change human behavior.

It was cognitive psychologist Aaron Beck out of the University of Pennsylvania who in the 1960s developed the now well-known cognitive theory. The basis of this theory is what Beck called the “cognitive triad.” He theorized that emotional distress (anxiety or depression) comes from negative and irrational beliefs about three things: the self, the world, and the future. It is from this theory that cognitive behavioral therapy was founded, one of the most widely used interventions in mental health still to this day.

Cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Your thoughts impact the way you feel about something, and the way you feel influences the way you behave. Consider this example: You are driving on the Garden State Parkway and someone cuts you off. You may think, “How dare they?! What is wrong with them?” (And let’s be real, New Jerseyans, your thought might even be unfit for print here.) You then feel angry. So, what do you do? Maybe you lay on the horn, throw up your hand, shake your fist. Now, let’s reframe this. Your thought might be, “They must really need to get somewhere.” Or even, “I hope they pay better attention or they could hurt themselves or someone else.” These thoughts elicit a different feeling, and would likely result in a different behavior.

Consider what this might mean for your life and how this cognitive triad of the self, the world, and the future might be causing you distress. It is no secret that we are in a time of widespread unrest. War, economic instability, and social crises have many of us in a state of fear, wondering what tomorrow might bring. Reflect for a moment: What are your thoughts surrounding concerns such as these? It’s easy to catastrophize and feel like there is little hope and the future is grim. However, this thinking leads us to feel depressed and anxious, which has the potential to cause us to behave in a way that is avoidant or apathetic. It might also cause you to miss the good things happening right before your very eyes in the moment.

Having awareness of your thoughts is the first and most important step in changing your thinking to change your reality. Here are some tips to support you with gaining awareness and making a change once you are aware:

Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment to gain awareness of your thoughts without judgment. It is often achieved through meditation and with practice can begin to come more naturally. Start by taking five minutes of your day to focus on your thinking in a quiet space without distractions. You will notice thoughts coming in without your control and you will practice accepting them without judging the thought, or yourself for having the thought. In other words, recognize the thoughts as just present, neither good nor bad. If you’re looking for support with mindfulness meditation, there are some great guided meditations on YouTube or in apps such as Calm.

Journal.

There are many benefits to journaling. Some journal at night as a means to get all of their thoughts out of their head and onto paper before they go to bed, often referred to as a “brain dump.” Others journal in the morning to set intentions for the day. Whatever the time or the reason, journaling is a great way to gain awareness of your thinking because you can physically see your thoughts and begin to recognize patterns in your thinking.

Challenge your thoughts.

Once you’ve become aware of your thinking, you can begin to take action by challenging your thoughts. Identify the thought that has you feeling distressed. Now fact-check it. Is this thought based on fact or is it based on your interpretation? What evidence supports this thought or contradicts it? If the thought isn’t based in fact and it doesn’t serve you, let it go.

Use positive affirmations.

To combat any negative thinking, find positive mantras that align with how you want to see yourself and the world around you. This helps you to reframe your thinking, which in turn shapes your reality. Remain realistically tuned-in to present hardships while promoting positive beliefs about yourself and the future.

Check in with yourself.

Changing your thinking is much like exercise. You must make it a regular practice to see the benefits. Take time to check in with yourself and assess your thinking throughout the day. Challenge and reframe as needed.

Yes, there is remarkable power in our thinking. Reframing our thoughts to make them less catastrophic and more aligned with how we want to perceive ourselves and others gives us the power to make a difference. Yes, this moment is hard. And yes, you will get through it, just because you think you will.