Tech Guidelines To Support Your Family’s Well-Being
By Kristen D’Amico
The lazy days of summer are in full swing as many of us enjoy some form of a break from our typical routine. This is especially true for families with school-age children. As caregivers, it can be challenging to fill the freedom that summer offers. Unfortunately, with the rising cost of summer camps for families already experiencing financial strain, 51% of children nationwide are not enrolled in any type of summer program, according to the latest data from the nonprofit Afterschool Alliance. As caregivers, we want children to have days that are full and enriching, but without school, daycare, or camps, this can feel overwhelming. Thank goodness for technology … right?
From television to video games, to tablets, computers, and phones, kids have an escape from boredom, and some would argue, an escape from creativity. I’m not sure this is entirely fair to say, as the responsibility rests on how the tech is used and not just the technology itself. As Andrew Stanton, writer and director of “Toy Story 5,” notes: “Technology has changed everybody’s lives, but we’re asking what that means for us — and to our kids. We can’t just get away with making tech the villain.”
Furthermore, perhaps we’re putting too much focus on kids and tech and not enough focus on the overall family’s relationship with technology. Caregivers serve not only as role models for children when it comes to technology use (among many other behaviors), but they create the technology culture for the household. We as caregivers may be excellent at giving our kids boundaries with their screen time and technology use, but what are kids seeing from us? Are we scrolling on our phones at the dinner table or during family movie night? Are we on our laptops often after work hours? Are we practicing what we preach with our children when it comes to screens?
Here’s why this matters: Research consistently shows a positive correlation between technology use and mental health concerns, specifically when it comes to social media use, smartphone use, and gamification apps. Use of this digital media leads to a rise in anxiety, irritability, lack of motivation, and difficulty concentrating. While mental health concerns are on the rise, so are concerns like obesity and issues with academic performance. As you can see, lack of proper boundaries around technology use touches every aspect of wellness. If you see this becoming a concern for your family or you’d like to take proactive measures, here are some healthy tech habits to start implementing today:
Have a family discussion about setting expectations around digital media use (including your own). Talk as a family about how much time should be spent on screens. Current recommendations among health care professionals advise about 1-2 hours daily of recreational screen time for children, depending on age. In addition to screen-time quantity, also discuss the quality of technology use. Provide parameters on what is permitted and not permitted based on your family’s goals. If you have questions about the age appropriateness of certain digital media, a great tool to support you with this is commonsensemedia.org.
Create tech-free zones in your home. As a mental health clinician specializing in child development, I recommend that your tech-free zones include bedrooms and the kitchen or dining table. The kitchen is often a place for the family to gather over a meal, and technology in this space can hinder bonding and communication. In the bedroom, tech has been the culprit of stealing quite a bit of sleep from folks. Additionally, tech in the bedroom offers a space for less supervision over technology use, a concern for all children.
Discuss the impact of screen time on mental health. Share with your children why it is important to have boundaries around technology, and discuss your own insights on how screen time makes you feel. Encourage your children to identify how they are feeling when it comes to technology use. In my house, we recognize the lack of motivation that comes with too much screen time, and the kids refer to themselves as “iPad zombies.” I love that they’ve created that term, and we use it as a tool to keep healthy expectations around tech.
Set a good example. Put your phone down when your kids are talking to you. Keep your phone in a different room (even on silent, if you’re able) during family movie night or game night. Keep your tech away from the dinner table and avoid scrolling in bed. Set healthy boundaries for yourself with social media after taking note of how it makes you feel. Know that your kids are observing your screen use even when you think they’re not, and they’re learning from your actions.
Offer ideas for tech-free activities. Maintaining balance when it comes to technology means you must have activities to balance it with. Discuss as a family some activities to engage in that don’t involve screens. These can include, but are not limited to, drawing, reading, writing, baking, building, gardening, playing outside, playing inside, listening to music, going to the library, going to the beach, and swimming in the pool. My kids are known to put on rock shows or build forts when they’re “bored.” They are making memories, building their confidence, and gaining new skills.
Technology use is everywhere, but it’s up to us to decide the impact it has on our lives and our children. It’s not unavoidable. Never feel like you are powerless when it comes to kids and tech. Remember, technology is a tool. The responsibility for how this tool is used lies with you.